So my family volunteers every Tuesday at the local nursing home. We usually see the same 3 people, Alverda, Jim and Van(Robert). We have been doing this for the last 9 months or so, for a couple of reasons. First and foremost is to teach our children there is more to life than what they see on TV and at school. Second is to remind my wife and I that there is more to life than what we see at work and home. Thirdly, it is the right thing to do, to give back.

Yesterday was like any other; I was busy. 6:30pm rolled around and I knew I had to leave, but I was still at work, hungry and frustrated that the day went by like a quick thunderstorm (loud and fast.) Yet my iphone kept chirping at me...time to go....time to go. So I reluctantly jumped in my truck, got a quick bite to eat and headed down the road. The nursing home we go to is only a 1/2 mile from my office, so while I was late, I thought it was no big deal. After all, I am volunteering right.

I walked into the home to find Vicki and Maggie already there, Kevin didn't come tonight, but Alverda and Van were there to, no Jim. Alverda is 93. She is always really "Good" (inside joke). She walks with her walker, loves to play Bingo and talk with us. She was born in Indiana and has a couple of great neices, but other than that, no family. She remembers us, but has some other memory problems that come with old age...but for the most part seems happy. Van is in a wheelchair and cannot walk. He is 83 years young, but has Parkinsons Disease. He is funny and just a good ole guy. He loves to talk, eat Baby Ruth's and drink Root Beer.

Jim isn't like the others. Jim is totally imobilized. He is in his early 50's if not late 40's. He has an offshoot of Parkinsons that is REALLY bad...so bad that he can really not do much. When we first met Jim, he was able to go fishing with us and actually reel in a fish. I could understand him, a little, when he spoke and he was eating good. Lately, Jim has gone down hill. Last week I brought him a 3 muskateers and he ate it happily, but he stopped eating everything else.

Back to last night. So when I walked in and saw all the gang, minus Jim, I was slighlty relieved. After all, he is harder to talk to, take care of and quite honestly, it is uncomfortable to be around him. So when I walked in, I almost felt happy he wasn't there. I sat by Van and asked how his week was and he said it was good, not much has happened except that Jim died yesterday. I feel like a schmuk. Life isn't about us. It isn't about "feeling" good all the time. It shouldn't be comfortable and happy 100% of the time. I will miss Jim. I will miss taking him fishing, to the library to type on the computer (looking for a BMW to convert to an electric car) helping him wipe the food from his hands and face, making him feel wanted, human. Yes, I will miss him, and I am sorry that he had to go for me to realize that volunteering isn't about me.

Labels: Volunteer